They expect me to be effortlessly queer

I am the queer

that they have nothing to ask

during truth or dare

and for a long while

I thought nobody is interested in

a boy too skinny and unattractive

with sexuality too awkward to bring up

and too disgusting to empathize with

everybody ask each other of their love life

but nobody asked me

my friend recently told me

that nobody asked me

because I seem to be the guy

Who has himself figured out

and isn’t afraid to be so open about himself

oh they didn’t know

that I used to hate myself

I grew up without male figure

that doesn’t indulge in self hate

so i turn to how I met your mother

to learn how to be a guy

and they taught me girl friends make you girl

and gay guys are fabulous but definitely not me

oh they didn’t know

that I didn’t come out as polysexual

cause bisexuals are “straight plus a little something”

And lesbians harassed me

oh they didn’t know

I didn’t come out as gender fluid

cause non binaries are “cis plus a little something”

and I don’t want to be a burden

Oh they didn’t know

that I assault myself when I feel feminine

they expect me to be effortlessly queer

and it’s not their fault they didn’t know

I am the queer

that came out too loud

who’s afraid to think about money

and sleeps all day on the couch

“We don’t hate that you’re queer

you’re just too defensive after you came out”

Every party’s a mania, then an abyss drop

then I can’t go, cause I can’t secure a job

my household split, and the halve I join

speaks different love language from me

I read psychology, trying to fix me

then my home said stop all the complaining

and now I realize my mental illness

took so much from me

cant feel no loving, everybody hates me, ??????


oh I didn’t know

when my family does shit they mean well

oh they didn’t know

when I speak it’s a cry for help

glamorous boys vogue the house down

when mine just brought me down

oh they didn’t know

how to handle a sensitive boy as me

Oh I didn’t know

My party’s higher than the rest

cause they’re looking for a good time

and I’m looking for a second family

they expect me to be effortlessly queer

but I can’t, I’m battling something alone in here

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